Shut up, I'm Making Cookies
by Mikila2
Summary: Bulma and Chichi insult Vegeta's sayain pride betting he and Goku can't make 300 cookies for Trunks' school fair by morning. While Vegeta and Goku venture into the unfamiliar world of baking they must also keep Goten and Trunks from harvesting their yield
1. Introduction

Disclaimer: I don't own DBZ.

Warning: I would call Vegeta a little OOC in this story (in my opinion), but it's meant more for humor than realism anyway. Also, I've underlined words that would probably be slightly stronger language than I'm willing to use in my stories. You can use your own imagination.

A/N: This story was dreamt up as my brother and I were baking cookies and many of the ideas came from him, so I have to give him a bit of credit. All of the actual writing and plot line are my own.

"**Shut up, I'm Making Cookies"**

"Bulma!"

Bulma cringed at the sound of her husband storming down the hall audibly unhappy about something. What could it possibly be now? She didn't want to deal with it. Their nine year old son, Trunks, had recently started public school and she was supposed to have 300 cookies baked for the school fair Friday night. Now it was Thursday morning and Bulma had been so busy all week she was just now getting to it.

"That darn gravity room is acting up again!" Vegeta's fists and teeth were clenched as he entered the kitchen.

Bulma sighed heavily. "Well there's nothing I can do about it…"

"Fix it!" Vegeta demanded.

"In case you're blind, Vegeta, I'm busy here!" Bulma was loosing patience.

"The faster you fix it, the faster you can get back to this!" Vegeta replied.

"Hey, what's all the commotion?" Goku yawned, stretching as he entered the room. He, Chichi and the boys were having their house fumigated and had stayed the night. Goku had suggested ki blasting the place, but for some reason, Chichi didn't like the idea.

"Vegeta, Trunks' fair is tomorrow night and I have 300 cookies to make before then! I'm not going to fix the stupid gravity room!"

Vegeta growled and clenched his fists tighter. "I can't waste my time lounging around while you make cookies!"

"Umm, cookies!" Goku was growing excited. "That sure sounds good."

"Shut up, Kakarot!" Vegeta was disgusted.

"I have a lot of work to do, so if you don't mind, get out," Bulma was annoyed.

"I am not going to wait around all day with no gravity room," Vegeta objected.

"Vegeta, if you want the gravity room fixed, then you'll have to bake the cookies! Is that what you want?"

Vegeta's eyes widened. "What?! Don't be absurd!"

"What's this about Vegeta baking cookies?" Chichi walked into the kitchen with a look of puzzlement.

Bulma sighed with irritation. "Vegeta wants his stupid gravity room fixed and I was just telling him I don't have time to waste on that. If he wants it fixed, then _he'll_ have to bake the cooked."

"_She_ can cook them. _You_ can fix the gravity room," Vegeta was satisfied with his solution.

"Chichi was already going to help me bake, Vegeta. It takes two to make this many cookies."

"Just forget it."

"I am not leaving this spot until you fix the gravity room!" Vegeta's face turned red as he screamed like a child.

"Then stand there all day!" Bulma yelled back.

For a few moments there was silence and then Bulma began pulling out cookie ingredients and ignoring her statuesque husband standing in the middle of the room with a bright red face.

Chichi sat at the bar and began giggling. "Can you just imagine? Vegeta making cookies…" she giggled some more.

Bulma turned and smiled. "Yes, it's pretty absurd, isn't it?"

Vegeta's ear twitched and he glanced at the two women from the corner of his eyes.

"These Sayains have no domestic skills at all. The only thing they're any good at is fighting. Vegeta couldn't bake cookies if his life depended on it," Chichi laughed.

"Hey, I don't think that's fair," Goku interrupted. "We aren't that bad…"

"Oh no? When have you ever done anything around the house?" Chichi accused.

"Vegeta's never done anything but train in all the years he's been here. Fight, fight, fight. That's all he's capable of," Bulma agreed.

"Bite your tongue woman! We Sayains are a very sophisticated race…"

"Sophisticated?!" Bulma snorted. "Who's standing in here like a child refusing to move because he wants his silly gravity machine fixed?"

"Cooking is a woman's job," Vegeta crossed his arms.

"That's because you can't."

"That has nothing to do with it!" Vegeta argued.

"Oh yeah? I'll make a deal with you, Vegeta. If you and Goku can bake 300 cookies by tomorrow morning, I'll not only fix the gravity room for you, but I'll revamp it too and we'll make you all the meals you want for a month. How's that sound?" Bulma crossed her arms and stared at her husband smugly. There was no way he and Goku could accomplish it.

"Don't be silly, they couldn't do it if they had a week," Chichi smirked.

Vegeta scowled at her and turned his attention back to his wife. "Fine! Kakarot and I will bake the cookies, but you'd best be warned you're going to be eating your words before the day's up."

"We'll just see," Bulma shook her head slightly. "Come on Chichi, let's leave them at it. They'll need all the time they can get."

Goku stood, eyes wide. How did _he_ get roped into this? "Vegeta…," he started after the women left, "I have no idea how to make cookies…"

"Shut up, Kakarot!"


	2. Gathering Ingredients

Reminder: I've underlined words that would probably be slightly stronger language than I'm willing to use in my stories. You can use your own imagination.

**Chapter 2: Gathering Ingredients**

Vegeta's brows were furrowed and his fists were clenched. He growled with growing disgust and anger.

"Aw, don't be mad, Vegeta. I think it looks kinda cute on you," Goku smiled.

Vegeta exploded an angry yell. "Sayain warriors do not wear lacey pink aprons! This is an insult to our dignity, Kakarot!"

"It's not that bad, is it? I mean… sure it's a little girly, but it's just for the day…," Goku was a little confused.

"Those women have gone _too_ far in insisting we wear this junk!"

"But Vegeta, if we don't wear them they'll never do our laundry again."

Vegeta growled and mumbled something under his breath. He wasn't sure if it was more the threat of having to care for all his own cleaning or the pounding headache he'd been given by his wife's tantrum that had brought him to this humiliating state. "Let's just get this baking over with! Pull out the ingredients."

Goku stared blankly and blinked a couple times. "Gee, Vegeta… I don't know what ingredients to use. I thought _you_ knew."

Vegeta scowled. "There must be a recipe around here somewhere," he began digging around the drawers until he found something. "This should do. Kakarot, you gather the items as I list them. Sugar, packed brown sugar…"

"Wait, slow down… I don't know where you guys keep all these things."

"I don't know any better than you do. Just look around," Vegeta demanded.

"Ok, but…," Goku began opening cupboards and shifting items. "This might be tricky."

"Why? Is your feeble brain too weak to locate a few ingredients?" Vegeta smirked.

"No," Goku narrowed his eyes as he spoke poutily, "and you don't have to be such a meany about it."

"Then what's your concern?" Vegeta crossed his arms and glared.

"I'm not telling," Goku continued his childish stance until he spotted something. Immediately his pouting turned to triumphant glee. "Ah! The sugar!" he held the bag up with pride.

"Don't celebrate yet, Kakarot, there's several more items to locate. Brown sugar…"

Goku looked down with a scowl and spoke in a low voice, "I can't find that one."

Vegeta continued glaring at him and Goku shuffled, kicking an imaginary piece of dust and fidgeting until Vegeta couldn't take it anymore. "Stop acting like a child and spit it out! What's your dilemma?!"

"…I don't know what brown sugar is," Goku's voice was low and embarrassed.

"For heaven's sake!" Vegeta pushed past him and began digging through the cupboard. His muscles suddenly tensed and slowly he turned with a large bag in his hand, the vein in his head threatening to pop as he began speaking slowly. "Could it possibly be…THIS LARGE BAG WITH _'BROWN SUGAR'_ WRITTEN ON THE LABEL!!"

Goku stood after having been knocked over by the force of Vegeta's yells and nervously put a hand behind his head, a big innocent smile on his face. "Gee, I guess that could be it."

"You imbecile! Here!" Vegeta shoved the list into Goku's hand. "You read and I'll get the ingredients."

"Sure thing," Goku looked at the paper. "One cup."

"One cup?"

"It says 'One cup butter'," Goku read word for word.

"That's the amount you idiot! Just read the part where it says butter!" Vegeta was quick to pull the butter out of the refrigerator.

"Oh," Goku looked back to the paper. "Egg."

Vegeta quickly retrieved an egg.

"I don't know… that looks pretty small to me," Goku scratched his head.

"What's the problem? You said egg, didn't you?"

"Yes, but the list says _large_ egg."

"Hmm," Vegeta began quizzically studying the egg as well. "You may be right Kakarot," he dug through the refrigerator once more but came up empty. "There aren't any bigger eggs."

"I know where to find one!" Goku's faced lit up.

"Well don't just stand there then."

"Ok, I'll be back in a jiffy," Goku quickly flew out the window.

"He'd better not get sidetracked," Vegeta muttered, turning to see a very confused nine year old studying him with judging blue eyes. Vegeta's eyes widened.

"Dad…," Trunks started slowly. "Why are you wearing gramma's apron?"

Vegeta almost gulped as his cheeks turned red. Then he scowled, his muscles tensed, and he turned around. "Shut up, I'm making cookies!"

A nauseating slew of liquid cascaded across Vegeta's back as Trunks spit out the milk he'd been drinking. Vegeta sweat dropped. There were few things he hated more than icky, sticky, messes, especially ones that came from inside another being, even if it _was_ his own son.

Trunks stared with wide eyes for a moment and then began laughing. "For a minute there I thought you said you were making cookies!" he laughed again.

"What of it?! Sayains can cook!" Vegeta defended, wiping himself with a towel.

Trunks' eyes widened again. "You mean… you really _are_ making cookies?"

Vegeta glared, raising one eye brow slightly.

Trunks' eyes widened further. "You?!" he couldn't believe it.

"Wipe that stupid look off your face and get out of here! I'm very busy!" Vegeta turned again to the fridge.

"Ok, but dad… you might want to ditch the apron…"

"OUT!!" Vegeta screamed.

Trunks cowered, secretly in hysterics on the inside, and dashed out of the room.

"All right!" Goku flew back into the kitchen. "Here it is," he proudly held up a dinosaur egg.

Vegeta examined the thing. "Are you sure a dinosaur egg will do?"

Goku set the egg on the table and looked at the list. "Hmm… it doesn't specify what kind. It just says 'one large egg'."

"Well, it's certainly large…," Vegeta was still a little skeptical. "I guess it will do. What's next?"

"All-purpose flow…ur," Goku sounded out the word he was unfamiliar with.

"What?" Vegeta's ear twitched

"All-purpose flow ur," Goku said it a little quicker this time.

Vegeta snatched the list from his hands. "That's flour, you moron!"

"Oh. What's flour?" Goku asked.

"How the heck should I know? Just look for a bag with 'flour' printed on it."

Both sayains searched the cupboards.

"Hmm… is this it?" Goku pulled a large white bag out. Unfortunately he whipped the thing out a little too fast and it splattered all over Vegeta, leaving an angry white snow-man standing in the center of the room.

Vegeta's growl grew until he exploded, "Kakarot, you idiot! Can't you be more careful?!"

"Sorry," Goku sulked a little.

"You're such a child! Always making messes!" Vegeta muttered, turning back to the list. "Baking soda. What the heck is baking soda?"

"Chichi doesn't like us drinking soda," Goku mused.

"Well this says we need baking soda. Any bright ideas?" Vegeta asked, muttering, "As if that were possible for you…"

"Why don't we just ask our wives, they'll know?" Goku happily suggested.

"We can't do that! It would defeat the purpose! We have to show them we have no problem doing this on our own! Now use your head, Kakarot. Think. I'll gather the rest of the ingredients in the meantime."

Goku stood, taping his head with one finger and keeping his other arm crossed. He was coming up blank.

Vegeta pulled out the salt and whatever chocolate he could find until one package specifically said 'semisweet chocolate chips' just as his list did. Irritated he turned back to Goku. "Haven't you thought of anything yet?"

"…Not really. Hey! I know! Let's just go to the store and ask!"

"Good thinking. You go and I'll start mixing these," Vegeta instructed.

"Right," Goku immediately flew off.

"This just might be the longest day of my life," Vegeta frowned as he examined the baking instructions.


	3. Planning and Mixing

**Chapter 3**

**Planning and Mixing**

"Goten, you'll never guess what my dad's up too!" Trunks bounded into his room where Goten still lay sleeping soundly on the trundle bed. Trunks frowned placing a hand on his hip. "Oh come on! Don't tell me you're STILL sleeping! Hmm, I know what'll get you up," he smirked, "It has something to do with foood," Trunks said the last word in sing song.

Immediately Goten bolted into a sitting position and looked around. "Did somebody say food? Is it time for breakfast? Where is it?"

Trunks smiled with satisfaction and hopped excitedly onto his bed. 'Works every time!' "As I was saying, you'll never guess what my dad's up to!"

"Is he bringing us breakfast?" Goten asked with excitement.

Trunks rolled his eyes. "No, dummy, but it _does _have to do with food…"

"Do we get to eat it?" Goten's eyes lit up further.

"Actually, I was just thinking we should form a plan regarding that… if any of it turns out edible, that it. But, you'll have to guess what he's doing first."

Goten frowned, looking quizative. "Gee, Trunks, I don't know. Is he ordering pizzas?"

"Nope," Trunks waited with anticipation for more guesses.

"Chinese?" Goten was more hopeful.

"Nope."

"Uh…he's buying a whole restaurant??" Goten was ecstatic of the thought.

Trunks slapped himself in the face, turning his head upward as he shook it. "No, no, Goten! What's the last thing you can imagine _my_ dad ever doing?"

"…Petting a puppy," Goten stated matter-of-factly as he crossed his arms, looking up while he imagined.

Trunks gave up. "He's baking cookies, Goten! …AND he's wearing gramma's apron too!"

"Really? You're dad is baking cookies?" Goten was excited, then confused. "Does your dad know how to bake?"

Trunks laughed. "Not likely, but he'll probably get the hang of it eventually and then you know what that means right?"

"Yeah!"

"We need a plan to snatch a few!"

Goten nodded in agreement, his stomach rumbling.

"It'll probably take a little while before we get to that point though so before we decide how to get the cookies, I think we should get a picture of him in that apron. It's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity!"

Goten was skeptical. "I don't know, Trunks. That sounds kind of dangerous to me. Won't you get in trouble?"

"Only if I get caught, Goten. With a good plan we can avoid that. Here's what we'll do…," Trunks started, leaning closer.

XXXXXXXXXX

"Darn you, Kakarot! What's taking so long?" Vegeta hissed as he tried to find a bowl big enough to mix all the ingredients in.

The first bowl he had tried filled up very quickly after he took a large drinking glass out of the cupboard and began filling it will the various items that said things like 3 / 4 cups sugar or 1 cup butter. It seemed like a lot! And why couldn't they just make up their minds?! Did they want him to add 3 glasses of sugar or 4? He thought he'd be safer by adding the larger number. After all, they had to have 300 cookies in the end.

"Hey, dad, is it ok for me and Goten to play video games out here?" Trunks poked his head in the kitchen and asked with childish anticipation.

Vegeta's brows were furrowed as he stared at the recipe some more. He wasn't paying close attention. "Just be quiet about it and don't bother me," he wanted the kid out of his hair. Telling him 'no' would have been far more inconvenient.

What in the heck was a teaspoon? The recipe called for 1 to 2 teaspoons of salt and a teaspoon of baking soda. Vegeta opened the drawers and looked at the eating utensils. There were about three different sizes of spoons in there. Perhaps 'teaspoon' was the official name of one of them.

Suddenly there was a flash coming from the entry into the living room. Vegeta blinked. What were those kids doing in there? He turned his attention to the door with a frown. Why wasn't Bulma keeping tabs on them? If he and Goku had to bake the cookies it was only fair that she should be the one to supervise the children. _She_ was the one that would flip her lid if they broke anything firing blasts at each other anyway.

"What's going on in here?" Vegeta was annoyed as he stood in the door to the living room.

Trunks and Goten were both seated in the middle of the floor with a video game controller in their hands. Goten looked nervous, his eyes darting from Vegeta to the television screen a time or two. Trunks seemed excited and intent on the screen.

"We're playing 'Kung Fu Fighters Extreme'," Trunks replied happily.

"What was that flash I just saw in the kitchen?" Vegeta was a little suspicious.

"My guy fired a big bomb, blinder's flash and blew Goten's guy into Timbuktu!" Trunks quickly responded with practiced pride and excitement.

Vegeta glanced at the TV screen. Trunks' character appeared to be beating the crap out of Goten's. He smirked. "Good work, son, keep it up," Vegeta went back into the kitchen, satisfied and proud. "Now to find a cookie sheet…," he began digging through the linens closet, hoping things would be labeled.

"Hey Vegeta, you'll never guess what I found out!" Goku flew back in the room.

Vegeta sighed with relief. As much as Goku annoyed him, misery loved company in this instance. "Did you get the baking soda."

"Uh-huh, and I found out a lot more too!" Goku was aching to share his discoveries. "I was talking to a lady at the store and she told me all about those numbers before the ingredients."

"Oh good. Did she tell you which one to use? Do they want three or four cups of sugar?" Vegeta crossed his arms and waited for the reply of his loyal subject.

"That's what I was wondering too, but it doesn't mean that at all. Apparently those are measurements!" Goku's eyes were wide and his face beaming.

"Measurements?" Vegeta asked, contemplating.

"Yeah! See how it says 3/4 there? That's actually a _fraction_!" Goku whipped out a measuring cup from his grocery bag. "That means you fill this cup here up to this line here!" Goku pointed.

"Oh, I see!" Vegeta smiled with understanding. "Good work, Kakarot. What else did you glean?"

"Well," Goku's smile widened further and he pulled out a set of spoon-like things. "You know where it says to use a teaspoon? That's this thing here… the one that says TSP on it."

Vegeta grabbed the spoons from him and examined them. There were about five of them and four had the letters TSP on them. "Four of these have those letters on them. Which one do we use?"

"Get this! We just match whichever numbers are on the recipe to the numbers on the spoon and that's the one we use!" Goku triumphantly finished.

Vegeta chuckled. "And those women thought we couldn't do this. Kakarot, you start mixing the first part there and I'll find the baking sheets."

"Right," Goku looked at the recipe. "Hmm, mix sugar, brown sugar, butter, and egg. Oh boy!" he was excited to put his new knowledge to use. Calculating, he tipped the sugar and it splattered across the counter. Goku giggled. "oopsy…"

"What's going on over there?" Vegeta's voice was a little sing-song. He didn't think he really wanted to know.

"I just poured a little too much sugar, that's all. Don't worry, I'll clean it up," Goku grabbed the nearest item--a bread board--and began using it to wipe the sugar from the counter back into the bag. Near half of it fell on the floor instead. "Gee," Goku rubbed his head and then smiled. "Oh well. I can worry about that later."

Again he went back to measuring.

"Darn it, nothing in here is labeled!" Vegeta shut the linen closet with frustration. "How am I supposed to know what a cookie… Kakarot, what have you done?!" Vegeta turned to see the growing mess his nemesis was making in the kitchen. "Those women will have our heads if they see this!"

Goku laughed nervously, rubbing the back of his head. "It'll be ok, I was going to clean it up…"

"Well get to it then!" Vegeta shouted.

"Ok, ok, you don't have to yell," Goku turned.

Vegeta watched as Goku 'cleaned'. All he was accomplishing was to spread the mess around.

"You're impossible! Less helpful than a child!" Vegeta couldn't take it anymore. "Just get away from there and don't touch anything! Trunks!" he went to the living room entry, but the boys were no longer in there. Vegeta looked around for a moment, then growled. This meant he'd have to retrieve the cleaning bot himself.

"Oh no!" Goku yelled.

Vegeta cringed and turned to see what the commotion was now. "Uhh!" he groaned, jumping backward at the sight of something large and gooey erupting from the egg. Disgusted, he put a hand over his mouth and heaved. "What _is _that vile thing?!"

"I didn't think it was the kind of dinosaur egg that would hatch! This is terrible," goku was deeply concerned by his mistake. "Here I protect dinosaur eggs from being stolen and now I'm the thief! I was so sure too…"

"Mamma," the creature opened a tiny youthful eye, looking at Goku.

"Me? Oh no, I'm not your mother," Goku put his hands up.

Slowly it turned its head and looked at Vegeta, who then heaved a second time. "Dada?"

"Ahh!" Vegeta jumped behind Goku in abhorrence. "I'm not your 'dada'! I'd rather have the brains of _Kakarot _than be your 'dada'!"

"Vegeta, that's not very nice," Goku approached the dinosaur and lifted it into his arms. "It's ok, little guy," he stopped and thought for a moment, just then realizing he'd been insulted too. "Hey!"

"Kakarot, get that oozing ball of slime out of here before I hurl!" Vegeta called, once again heaving.

"Don't you worry, I'll take you back to your mother and father," Goku started off.

"And when you're finished, bring back an egg we can USE," Vegeta called after him.


	4. Cleanliness, not

A/N: Sorry this it's been so long since an update. I've had NO time in the last two weeks, but I foresee much more time right now and, in fact, I am hoping to finish at LEAST one more chapter of this story today (maybe two or three). I have a bunch of other stories I'm dying to write and post, but I'm not allowing myself to until this one is done or close to done because I don't want to end up involved in sometihng else and never finishing this one. That wouldn't be fair to everyone out there. Probably there will be some more update on this one very soon.

**Chapter 4: Cleanlines, not**

"Ok, I got the egg. It's not as big as the last one, but it was the biggest one I could find that wasn't going to hatch," Goku flew back into the Brief's kitchen with an ostrich egg.

"It better not, Kakarot," Vegeta warned, sizing up the new ingredient. "Now get back to work. I already put the ingredients in the bowls, now just mix that egg in with them."

"Sure thing," Goku broke the ostrich egg and let the gargantuan yoke run into the bowl. There was just barely enough room. "Now what?"

"Do I have to do everything?" Vegeta growled, looking at the recipe. "Mix it by hand, Kakarot," he read with irritation. Suddenly his eyes widened as he contemplated what that meant. "Wait! Don't put your grubby germ-ridden tentacles in there until you've cleaned them!"

Goku's eyes widened, then they narrowed. "I'm not dirty, Vegeta. You're mean."

"Oh really? When was the last time you've washed?" Vegeta crossed his arms, waiting for the inappropriate reply he knew he'd get.

"I showered just last night," Goku said with pride, crossing his arms too.

"And what have you done since then?" Vegeta's smirk widened.

"Uh…," Goku thought about it. "I don't know."

"Perhaps I should help you out, Kakarot. Do you not recall a large slimy entity erupting between now and then? And how did you take it home, hm? With you're feet?"

"…Well maybe I touched it with my hands, but…"

"Wash up, Kakarot!" Vegeta demanded, turning to examine the cooking instructions.

"Fine!" Goku scowled as he went to the sink and began muttering with displeasure. "You're just like Chichi. You two are no fun at all."

"And use soap!" Vegeta added without looking up. He was too familiar with children who always tried to cut corners, and Kakarot wouldn't be any exception.

"'_Use soap, Kakarot'_," Goku mimicked quietly as he washed, continuing to mutter.

"Preheat oven to 375 degrees…," Vegeta mused. How was he supposed to do that? Perhaps a ki blast? It couldn't be the normal way. His wife cooked regularly and certainly she didn't have Trunks in there blasting everything to heat it…

"There, I'm clean, happy?!" Goku frowned, holding his hands up for Vegeta to see.

"Just get to mixing," Vegeta didn't look up.

Goku's eyes widened with indignance, then he stuck his tongue out and went back to the bowl. The moment he stuck his hands in, the ingredients began oozing over the sides. "Wow, that is sure full, isn't it," he laughed to himself. "Oh well," he continued mixing, letting it ooze wherever it wanted.

After awhile of searching, Vegeta still couldn't figure out how to preheat the oven. He was pretty sure he'd figured out where the oven was located and which dial turned it to 375, but there seemed to be something missing because it still was not growing warm inside.

"How long am I supposed to mix this?" Goku called.

"I don't know. I suppose it should be done," Vegeta turned. A vein began pulsing on his head once again. Not another mess! "Kakarot…," his voice was low as he growled.

"I'll clean it up, I swear!" Goku's eyes widened and he placed his hands up.

"TRUNKS!!" Vegeta roared, his voice booming through the house.

Trunks and Goten had been at Trunks' computer playing with the photo of Vegeta in Mrs. Brief's apron when they heard the thundering cry.

"Oh no, Trunks, did he find out?" Goten's eyes were wide as saucers.

Trunks' eyes were wide too. "He couldn't have…," Trunks wasn't completely sure by the sound of that voice. "…maybe I should pretend I don't hear him…"

"GET IN HERE RIGHT NOW!!"

Trunks gulped, feeling a little sick. "Maybe not…," he slinked out of his chair, turning before he left the room. "Goten, if he kills me… I want you to have all my toys, and be sure to hide that picture from him."

"Uh…ok, Trunks," Goten pitifully watched his friend as he went.

"Hey, I said I'd clean it up," Goku pouted. "Why are you calling Trunks?"

"I've seen how you clean, Kakarot, and no thank you!" He scowled. Where was that kid? Vegeta knew he could hear him. Was he trying to pretend he didn't? If Trunks didn't show up in the next three seconds Vegeta would go right up there and…

"Did you need something dad?" Trunks tried hard not to show his nervousness as he stood in the entry to the kitchen.

"Well it's about time!" Vegeta spat. "Go get the cleaning bot and bring it in here."

"The cleaning bot?" Trunks was surprised. He looked past his father and into the kitchen. The place was thoroughly trashed. "Wow! Mom's gonna kill you guys!"

"Just get the bot!" Vegeta yelled with annoyance.

"Yes, sir," Trunks rushed out of the room, smiling with relief.

"This stuff sure is runny, isn't it?" Goku observed.

"It's supposed to be stiff, Kakarot," Vegeta growled, looking at the recipe.

"Stiff?" Goku stuck his hands back in, swishing it around some more. "It's certainly not stiff, Vegeta."

"Well what did you do to it?"

"I didn't do anything!" Goku defended. "I just put the egg in and mixed like you told me to."

"You surely did something wrong! If it's supposed to be stiff and yet it clearly isn't, then you made a mistake."

"Who's to say you didn't make the mistake, huh Vegeta? What about that?" Goku crossed his arms as he pouted.

"You're the one that measured it and you're the one that put the egg in," Vegeta retorted.

"Maybe it'll stiffen as we cook it," Goku suggested.

Vegeta growled. There wasn't any other choice than to try, but still he hadn't lit the oven. Perhaps he would build a fire in there. Maybe that's how it was to be done. Quickly he threw in a few newspapers and lit a match.

"What are you doing?!" Trunks ran into the kitchen and blew the match out. "Mom'll have your head if you do that! I already tried it last year."

Vegeta blinked a few times. "Well what am I supposed to do then?"

"Here, see," Trunks pointed to the dial on the oven. "You have to turn that dial over there to whatever temperature you want, and then you turn this dial over here to bake. Then, that light over there will come on and when the oven gets to the temperature you want it at, the light will go off and you can put whatever you're cooking in," Trunks was proud of his knowledge.

"Wow, Trunks, where'd you learn all that?" Goku asked.

"Mom made me watch the cooking channel for two hours as a punishment when I tried to light the oven like dad did. I saw it before I fell asleep and had dreams about giant roasts coming to get me," Trunks answered.

Vegeta thought for a second. "Do you also know where your mother keeps the cooking sheets?"

"Hmmm," Trunks thought for a few seconds, then his face lit up, "Yes!" Quickly Trunks dropped to his knees and opened the cupboard next to the oven, pulling out a large tray-like pan. "Here!"

"_That's_ a cookie sheet?" Vegeta was surprised.

"Uh-huh, Rachel Ray was using one right before I fell asleep and when I woke up I saw mom pull one out from under here."

"What else do you know, boy?" Vegeta stood, a smirk on his face, as he hoped his job had just gotten a lot easier.

Trunks struck a finger in the cookie dough and tasted it, wrinkling his nose. "I know cookie dough should never taste this foul! What did you guys do to it?"

Vegeta clenched his fists and grabbed the recipe off the table. "Never mind that! What do you make of this?"

Trunks looked over the recipe, feeling a little awkward as both the men stood in anticipation of his answer. "Uh… we already turned the oven on… and I already got the cookie sheet out… uh… I don't know anything else, dad. Cooking isn't really my thing," he held the recipe out for him to take back.

Vegeta growled with disappointment as he snatched it back.

"Dad, can I go now?" Trunks asked.

"Fine," Vegeta muttered.

Trunks quickly darted out of the room and back upstairs.

"Trunks, you're alive!" Goten was ecstatic. "Did he find out about the picture?"

"No, he just wanted me to get the cleaning bot," Trunks sat back down at the computer with a frown.

"What's wrong?" Goten asked.

"It's going to be awhile before we can snatch any cookies, Goten."

"How come?"

"Whatever they've got down there right now wouldn't be edible for a maggot."


	5. Blasts Are Not the Answer

**Chapter 5: Blasts Are Not the Answer**

"Hasn't that stupid light gone off yet?" Vegeta called with irritation as he tried to form the bowl full of runny, inedible goo into balls, like the recipe said.

"Nope, it's still on," Goku replied, staring intently at the light on the oven. It was a boring job, but Vegeta refused to let him touch anything else that might make another mess. The kitchen was clean now and Vegeta was determined it would stay that way.

"Darnit!" Vegeta slammed down the spoon. No matter how hard he tried the spoons of goo would only run into each other. "Forget it!" he poured a portion of the mess from the bowl onto the cookie sheet, letting it just cover the surface.

"There!" Goku jumped up. "It's off, it's off!"

"Well it's about time!" Vegeta carefully carried the tray, placing it in the oven.

"How many will that make, Vegeta?"

"I don't know. Not 300," Vegeta sighed. "We may as well pour more ingredients, he began measuring as Goku had done.

"What should I do?" Goku asked with happy anticipation.

"Watch the clock, Kakarot. The first batch should be done in ten minutes. You do know how long ten minutes is, right?" Vegeta smirked, eyes still intent on the measuring devices.

"Of course I do," Goku muttered, his eyes narrowed.

Vegeta had just finished pouring all the ingredients when he realized he'd only seen Goku come in with one egg. "Wait…Kakarot, did you get more eggs?"

"No, just the one. Why?"

"Idiot, how are we supposed to make 300 cookies with just one egg?!" Vegeta yelled.

"Do you always have to yell about everything?" Goku cringed. "I can get more, but you told me to watch the clock. Should get more now or finish watching the clock?"

"How long has it been?" Vegeta folded his arms and scowled.

Goku stared at the clock for a moment. "Eight minutes."

"Are they looking brown on the edges yet?"

"Uh…," Goku opened the oven. The rush of hot air ran straight into his eyes and quickly he began jumping around the kitchen, covering them "Ow, it burns!"

"You buffoon," Vegeta went to the oven himself and opened it slightly, waiting for the first few seconds of heat to go by before he glanced inside. The mixture looked almost exactly as it had before. "Hmm," he grabbed the nearest utensil and stuck it in to see if it had even hardened at all, but it was still just as goopy, only there was a fowl stench coming from it. Something akin to rotten eggs. "Uh! This is going to take forever!"

"It doesn't smell very edible either," Goku observed.

"Let's just blast the stupid thing!"

"Huh?" Goku's eyes widened as Vegeta stood with one hand clenched at his side and the other straight out forming an energy ball. "Wont that make a mess?"

He'd hardly finished his sentence when Vegeta fired the shot into the cookie sheet. A rather large boom sounded and Vegeta blinked with surprise, his face covered in soot and the cookie sheet a pile of smoking ash.

Goku laughed for a moment. "Wow, Vegeta, now who's making messes?"

"Shut up!" Vegeta spat, drawing his arm back to his side and clenching both fists.

"So much for that batch," Goku went to the cupboard Trunks had pulled the cookie sheet from and pulled another one out.

Vegeta growled, snatching it from him and pouring more of the goopy mixture in. "Perhaps this time we shall just wait for it to cook," he muttered.

30 MINUTES LATER

Both sayains were staring into the oven intently.

"I suppose that's as done as it's ever going to get," Goku stated.

"Fine," Vegeta scowled, grabbing a towel and pulling the cookie sheet out. This certainly wasn't the way cookies were supposed to look, but the edges of the goop seemed to be turning black while the middle still was runny.

For a few seconds they stood.

"Well I suppose one of us should try one and see if it's edible," Vegeta glared at Goku. "That would be _your_ department, Kakarot."

Goku looked quizzically at the tray. "Hmm, I guess you're right, he began cutting a piece. "It sure does smell funny, doesn't it?" he wasn't finding the smell very appetizing at all. "And it's so yellow… have you ever seen yellow cookies before?"

"Just eat it!" Vegeta was growing impatient.

Goku nervously looked at the "cookie" and then smile and sweat dropped. "Ok, here goes…," he popped it in his mouth.

Immediately his eyes widened and his cheeks puffed out and he raised one eyebrow. Then he began to turn red and with a very full mouth said "excuse me," as he ran to the sink and spit it out. Quickly he began rinsing his mouth with water.

"Not so good, huh?" Vegeta frowned. That meant they'd gone wrong somewhere for sure.

Goku was exhausted by the time he was finished. "That's something I'd never eat twice."

"Take this back to the store and get one of those women there to tell you exactly what you need and how to bake them," Vegeta handed him the recipe. "Just buy everything new and we'll start from scratch. And don't dally at it, we're running out of time fast."

"Right," Goku was happy to do it. Quickly he darted out the window.

"Hmm. No sense standing around," Vegeta smirked. Since there was nothing for him to do until Goku got back, he decided to go train for a little while. Obviously nothing major since the gravity room was broken, but a light workout would do his body good.

XXXXXXXXXX

"I'm hungry, Trunks, when are those cookies going to be ready?" Goten whined.

"How should I know?" Trunks glanced at the clock. It was already 2:00 in the afternoon. "Go down there and see how they're coming."

"Are you sure that's a good idea? Won't your dad get mad if I bug him while he's cooking?"

"No, just go in there and ask them how they're doing. If you smell anything good, report back to me," Trunks never looked up from the video game he was playing on his computer.

"Ok," Goten was hesitant as he walked out the door. A few minutes later he came back with a look of confusion on his face. "There's nobody in the kitchen."

"Huh?" Trunks turned. "They couldn't possibly be done already…"

"I didn't even see anything in there, except a pile of ash and a really runny bowl of something in the sink."

"Maybe they finished and hid them somewhere," Trunks' sense of adventure began to perk. "If they did, we'll find them. Come on," Trunks ran out of his room and into the kitchen, Goten not far behind. He looked around curiously. "I never thought they'd finish this early, judging by that smell the last time I was in here, but…," he began opening the cupboards. "You search the closet, Goten."

"Ok, Trunks," Goten smiled. His friend always knew just what to do.

Vegeta wiped his face with a towel as he approached the kitchen. One eye brow raised as he noticed the two children, heads buried in cupboards as they searched for something. What I the world were they up to? He decided it would be a good idea to announce his presence with a clearing of him throat. One of the boys gasped and the other bumped his head on the shelf above, muttering "ow"; then they both removed their heads from said places and looked at him with guilt.

"Oh, there you are, dad," Trunks was the first to speak.

"Yes, here I am," Vegeta continued glaring intimidatingly as he waited for explanations.

"We were just…," Trunks thought hard, "Looking for….uh…," quickly Trunks spotted a long spoon and grabbed it, "this!"

"A spoon?" Vegeta's arms were crossed. He wasn't buying it.

"Yeah, that's right!" Goten agreed. "We weren't looking for any cookies at all, just that spoon there."

"What?!" Vegeta's eyes immediately darted to the younger sayain.

Trunks rolled his eyes and smacked himself in the face, shaking his head slightly. Goten's smile instantly faded and turned to fear as he glanced from Vegeta to Trunks and back.

"Those cookies are not for you to eat, understood?" Vegeta's stance was harsh.

"Yes," Trunks answered, shooting Goten a short glare.

"Now get out of here and don't come back!" Vegeta added.

Both boys quickly scurried by Vegeta and back into Trunks' room. Vegeta shook his head as he muttered to himself. They hadn't even baked any yet and already those pests called children were after them.

"Ok, I've got everything we need now, Vegeta," Goku flew back in the window, setting the two large grocery bags down on the counter. "It seems large eggs aren't quite as large as we had in mind, he giggled, placing a hand behind his head.

"Fine, let's get to work mixing it," Vegeta began pulling the items from the bag. "You use that bowl and I'll use this one, but don't you dare make any more messes!"

The two men stood in their feminine aprons and carefully measured all the items, just as the recipe said.

"This is utterly repulsive!" Vegeta cringed as he stuck his hands into the mess to start mixing it.

"It smells a lot better than the last batch though," Goku shut his eyes as he sniffed in the aroma. "And it's a lot stiffer, just like the recipe says it should be."

Vegeta ignored his friend, trying hard not to concentrate on how nauseous touching this slimy stuff made him. After a few seconds he decided he'd had enough. Goku would have to be the one to mix the ingredients. As he turned he noticed the bowl of ingredients tipped over his fellow sayain's face.

"Kakarot!! What are you doing?!"

Goku jumped, removing the empty bowl to reveal a face stained with cookie dough and a guilty expression as he chuckled nervously. "It just smelled so good I couldn't resist."

"We'll never get anything cooked if you do that!" Vegeta let out a breath of frustration. "Here, start mixing this batch while I clean the bowl and get another batch of ingredients ready. And DON'T eat it!"

Goku obediently stuck his hands in the bowl Vegeta had been working with. He glanced over his shoulder to see that Vegeta's back was turned then popped a small lump of cookie dough in his mouth. Just a little couldn't hurt, right?

Vegeta quickly cleaned the bowl and started measuring. He was just about done when he happened to glance in the direction of the other batch and catch Goku sneaking another taste.

"Cooked, cooked, darn you, cooked!" he snatched the bowl away before Goku could devour it like the last one. "Do I have to supervise you every second like a child?!"

"Sorry," Goku smiled sheepishly. This dough tasted _much_ better than what they'd made earlier. How was he supposed to resist?


	6. Let The Games Begin

**Chapter 6: Let the Games Begin**

"Trunks, Trunks! Do you smell that?!" Goten was excited.

"Yeah," Trunks eyes lit up. "That's the smell of some _real_ cookies! And you know what that means, Goten," Trunks turned his attention to his friend. "Time to start planning! Ok, so here's what we'll do first. I'll get dad out of the kitchen and while he's gone, you sneak in there and grab a couple. Not too many or he'll know we took some, but just a few. We'll get some more later."

"Ok," Goten agreed.

XXXXXXXXXX

Goku and Vegeta had worked out a pretty good rhythm in the last 30 minutes, though Vegeta was still keeping a close eye to see that his nemesis didn't eat anything. Vegeta would fill the bowls with ingredients, Goku would mix them together, and then Vegeta would put the spoonfuls on the cookie sheet. They had found one more, other than the one they'd destroyed earlier, and now they could have one in the oven and one ready to go in. The first batch had already come out and was cooling.

Suddenly Vegeta looked up from the cookie sheet with alarm as he intently focused on what he'd felt. His son's ki had jumped way up… and then it had fallen again to a state barely recognizable.

"Wow, what was that?" Goku too had felt it.

"Stay here," Vegeta flew out of the room.

His heart began to race as he felt his son's ki do just as before. Then he could hear a small scream. In a lightning flash he was in the same room as his child ready to fight whatever terror was threatening him. Trunks was in the middle of the floor with one of the household robots on top of him, appearing to wrestle. Vegeta's eyes darted around the room, but there was absolutely nothing of danger anywhere. His eyes hardened and his fists clenched as he looked down at his son.

All the nerve Trunks had started this scheme out with seemed to flee under that glare and his eyes widened. "Uh…. the bot was attacking me?"

Vegeta's glare deepened and Trunks' eyes widened even more. "Get up," his voice was quiet and sent a chill down Trunks' spine.

Trunks obeyed, hopping up so fast he almost tripped. Maybe this wasn't such a good plan.

"Are you in any danger?" Vegeta asked, testing his son.

"Dad, the bot was…," Trunks tried to salvage the situation, but the intensity of his father couldn't be reckoned with. "…well… maybe I was just playing a little…." He looked down, unable to keep from fidgeting. He couldn't continue looking at those eyes. He'd have to thank the heavens if he escaped his father's wrath this time.

"Trunks, have I ever told you the story of the little boy that cried wolf?" Vegeta's voice was eerily calm.

"Uh… no, don't think you have, dad," Trunks spit his answer out as he watched him nervously.

"Well," Vegeta approached, milking every ounce of Trunks' discomfort.

A small breath of terror escaped Trunks' lips as his father placed a large, strong hand on his shoulders, at the base of his neck and began leading him out of the room and through the hall in the direction of Trunks' bedroom. His father had hold of him! There was no escaping now!

"Once upon a time there was a little boy who thought it would be a good idea to get his father's attention by pretending he was in danger by a wolf. But really, there was no wolf, and the boy was in no danger at all. When the father found out, he was very angry and do you know what he did Trunks?"

"…No..," Trunks' voice was three pitches higher than usual.

"He turned into a wolf and ate him up himself, that's what he did. Now what is the moral of this story, son?" Vegeta stopped and turned his son to face him as he placed each hand on one shoulder.

"Don't make dad mad?" Trunks guessed, his eyes pleading and tiny as he looked at his father, who then smiled dangerously.

"Yes, son, very good," Vegeta removed his hands and allowed them to clench as he placed them back at his sides. Immediately his smile disappeared and his eyes hardened. "Now get out of here!"

Trunks jumped, then immediately ran into his room.

"AND DON'T YOU EVER DO THAT AGAIN!" Vegeta screamed after him, then turned to walk back to the kitchen.

"Is everything ok?" Goku asked.

"Don't talk to me!" Vegeta was obviously very angry about something. He mumbled under his breath as he walked to the cooling cookie sheet to remove the cookies. He was quick to notice two spaces missing. "What the…? Kakarot!" he turned with daggers in his eyes.

"It wasn't me, I swear!" Goku put his hands up in defense. "I didn't think you'd mind… Goten came in and asked if he and Trunks could have one. ?"

"I already told them NO!" Vegeta's face began to turn red.

"Oh," Goku responded and then put a hand behind his head smiling. "Well they're just kids, Vegeta. Can you really blame them?"

"Absolutely!" Vegeta stormed out of the room.

"Now Vegeta, let's not be too hasty," Goku laughed nervously as he followed. "One cookie won't hurt anything will it?"

Vegeta ignored him as he pounded his way to Trunks room and burst through the door.

Both boys jumped and Trunks quickly spit, "I didn't cry wolf, dad, I swear!"

"Where are the cookies?!" Vegeta demanded.

Trunks' eyes were wide and he blinked. "You said we couldn't have any cookies, remember?"

"Yes, I did say that, NOW DIDN'T I!" Vegeta roared.

"Here they are, they're right here," Goten quickly produced the missing cookies, bringing them nervously to Vegeta.

Vegeta smiled wickedly, taking the cookies from him, and then looked to Trunks. He didn't really have to say anything, his eyes were threatening enough.

Trunks heart was pounding, but his father just glared for a few moments longer and then slammed the door shut. After a few seconds of shock he let out the breath he'd been holding and slumped onto his bed. "That was way too close, Goten. We've got to figure a way to do this without being caught."

"Uh-huh," Goten agreed, eyes still wide.

**A/N: I know this one is short, but it seemed to end well here. The next one will probably be a lot longer, but I probably wont be posting it by tomorrow. (Every day updates on EACH story aren't really feasible for me, except in the last few days since I've had them off) Don't be too concerned, though. I promise not to take longer than a week.**


	7. The Great Cookie War

**Notes: Sorry to Goku-lovers because I think I'm making him a little dumber in this story than he really is, but obviously it's for the comidic relief and to play off Vegeta's anger (which might also be a bit over inflated in this story too).**

**Chapter 7: The Great Cookie War**

**First Attempt**

"Not again!" Vegeta spat as smoke billowed out of the oven. This was the third smoldering batch they'd made. "This is ridiculous! Have you been watching the clock?!"

"It was only six minutes since we put it in, Vegeta, I was watching real close, I promise," Goku turned his head from the clock he had been strictly stationed in front of.

Vegeta growled, dumping the rock-hard pieces of charcoal in the bowl of finished cookies. The only batch that was edible was the first; now the bowl was just growing full of progressively more and more burnt heaps of disfigurement. "Something must be wrong," he began studying the stove. "Ah!" he shouted in annoyed discovery. "It's set for 530 degrees! How did _that_ happen?!" he glared accusingly.

"What do you mean?" Goku left his post and grabbed the recipe. "It says right there… Oh," he guiltily put a hand behind his head. "350. Whoopsy!"

"Now it's all clear, _Kakarot_! You weren't sent away to this planet to take it over because of your weakness as a sayain, it was your dyslexic charbroiled lack of brain!" Vegeta ranted as he turned down the oven. "Someone must have known you were born to be on the throne of stupidity."

Goku giggled as he set up another tray of cookies.

"Ack!" Vegeta jumped three feet in the air as something slithered around his legs. "What the _heck_ was that?!"

Goku turned and looked, but he saw nothing.

"There, there it is! Ahh!" Vegeta jumped back as the snake slithered out from under the cupboard.

"Aw, it's just a little snake, Vegeta. He's harmless. Come here, buddy," Goku began chasing after the snake as he spoke to him.

"EW he's gonna crawl up the counter!" Vegeta grimaced in horror.

"Snakes can't climb," Goku reassured.

Suddenly Vegeta caught some movement from the corner of his eye and whipped his head around just in time to see Trunks hand coming out of the cookie bowl. Trunks froze, sweat-dropping and then smiled innocently. "Mom wanted to try one?"

Vegeta glared daggers, but jumped when he felt the snake slither between his legs. The next thing he knew he was being thrown into the air as Goku ungracefully ran between his legs in hot pursuit of the creature. Trunks used the opportunity to escape—with the cookie he'd been holding.

"Ah!" Vegeta hit the floor with a thud. Quickly he turned his head toward the door, knowing full well his son was long gone by now, "KEEP YOUR SCRAWNY BUTT OUT OF THIS KITCHEN!!"

"Did you get them?" Goten asked excitedly as Trunks returned.

Trunks frowned. "Just one."

"Yum!" Goten instantly grabbed it and stuffed it in his mouth.

"Hey!" Trunks protested.

"What? You promised I could have a cookie, you're not trying to take it back now are you?" Goten spoke with his mouth full.

"Next time, _you_ put _your _neck on the line and _I'll _eat," Trunks crossed his arms, trying to think of a new plan.

**Second Attempt**

"Gee, I sure am hungry," Goku's stomach growled once again.

"You've already eaten all the burnt ones, what more do you want?!" Vegeta removed the latest batch. Three batches had been finished since they'd discovered the oven's problem with temperature.

"I need some _real_ food! We skipped lunch, Vegeta, and it's already 4:00!"

"What?!" Vegeta turned with surprise and looked at the clock, then grunted. They'd only made 48 edible cookies so far, and that was counting the 24 deformed ones that Goku had loaded on his trays before baking.

"Couldn't we just take a little snack break?" Goku asked hopefully.

"You've waited this long, you may as well wait for dinner," Vegeta scowled as he stuck another tray of disfigured 'Kakarot cookies' in the oven.

"Aw, how much longer will _that_ be?" Goku whined.

"Hey there, dad," a rather odd-looking sayaman walked clumsily into the kitchen and waved with a scrawny arm much too short for his body.

"Hey, Gohan! Is it dinner time?" Goku sat up with excitement, imagining they were being summoned by his son to eat.

Vegeta crossed his arms and stared suspiciously at the costumed buffoon.

"Oh, uh… yeah, sure."

"Oh boy!" Goku dashed out of the room.

'Sayaman' watched the doorway in surprise at the speed of Goku's retreat. "Wow… guess he was hungry, huh?" he chuckled nervously.

"Yes, I suppose he was," Vegeta stood with a faint smirk, arms still crossed.

"…So…are you planning on coming to dinner too?"

"My, _Gohan_, you've sure gotten thick and lumpy around the middle, haven't you," Vegeta mocked. He was going to have a little fun with this one.

'Sayaman' chuckled, trying to come up with a reply. "Yeah, well… I had a big lunch."

"Oh, I see. Is it me, or does your neck seem a lot thinner than normal?" Vegeta continued.

'Sayaman' gulped. Maybe this disguise wasn't quite as good as he'd originally thought. "Guess I need to work out a little more, huh?" he laughed nervously, then turned toward the opposite door. He felt the need to get out of there, but perhaps his partner could snatch just a few of the cookies as they walked by.

Vegeta continued smirking and just before 'Sayaman' passed, he stuck out his foot. Immediately young Goten tripped, falling straight on his face and up heaving Trunks from his shoulders. In a lightning move, Vegeta caught his son by the neck. "I always say the scrawnier the neck, the better the throtteling!" he glared angrily.

Trunks' fear-filled eyes darted and Vegeta followed suit to catch Goten grabbing a handful of cookies as he ran out of the room. "Run Goten, run!"

"GOTEN!" Vegeta roared, dropping his once-again very thankful son, and darting after the younger demi-sayain.

Goten looked over his shoulder in horror and lost his grip on the cookies. Trunks took advantage of the moment and grabbed a couple of cookies himself, but Vegeta, sensing his movements, shot a ki blast, knocking the lavender-headed child back. Unfortunately the cookies became a war-casualty. Stunned, and with the attention of his father back on him, Trunks quickly got up and ran as fast as he could. Vegeta would have chased after him but it was then that Goku returned.

"Dinner isn't ready at all," Goku was pouting as he looked around, noticing the small pile of smoking ash and several crumbs on the floor. "What'd I miss?"

"Kakarot, guard that door!" Vegeta ordered.

"Huh?" Goku stood in the doorway of the kitchen with confusion.

"Don't let anything suspicious within fifty feet of this room!"

"Is something burning?" Goku sniffed.

"Darn it!" Vegeta cursed.

**Third Attempt**

"Wow, look at that! A flying saucer!" Goku stared with awe at the small UFO that came flying into the kitchen and hovering over the cookie bowl.

Without looking up from the ingredients he was mixing, Vegeta pointed a finger toward the object and blasted the thing to pieces just as it began beaming up the cookies.

"Shoot," Trunks whispered from his hiding place under the skirted living room coffee table.

**Fourth Attempt**

"Much better!" Goku returned from the bathroom.

Neither of them had gone all day and the sound of the garden hose watering the plants outside the kitchen window was really starting to get to them both.

"Watch that door and don't you dare let those children in this room," Vegeta ordered as he briskly made his way toward the bathroom to take his turn.

"Sure thing," Goku sat on the stool at his station. His eyes widened when he saw Trunks and Goten walk into the living room. "Hey you two, I'm under strict orders not to allow you in this kitchen," he warned.

"That's ok, we're done trying to get cookies," Trunks replied sadly and waited, then nudged Goten in the ribs when he didn't speak.

Suddenly Goten remembered his line. "Yeah, we couldn't eat any cookies after what we just saw."

"Why the long faces? What was it?" Goku asked with concern.

"It was a couple of orphans. They came knocking at the door just a few minutes ago and asked if we had anything for them to eat. You should have seen them. They were so thin! I wish I'd had something to give them," Trunks shook his head.

"Aw, poor things," Goku mused. "Hey! Why don't you take them a couple cookies? Just a few wont hurt anything," he retreated into the kitchen and grabbed four cookies from the dish. "Here. Just be sure you hurry and get them to them."

Trunks smiled with feined appreciation. "Wow, you're great! They'll love these!" he ran out of the room. "C'mon Goten!"

Quickly Goten followed.

"Poor things," Goku shook his head as he thought of the thin little orphans begging for food.

"What are _you _so down about?" Vegeta scornfully eyed Goku as he entered the kitchen, much relieved.

"Oh, I was just thinking…," Goku started.

"Kakarot, we're missing four cookies!" Vegeta interrupted him with anger and alarm.

"I know," Goku stated simply. "I gave them to Trunks and Goten for the poor little orphan kids that were begging for food."

"You, _what_?!" Vegeta couldn't believe his ears.

"Vegeta, they're hungry, you can't possibly be mad," Goku was surprised.

"_Orphan_ kids! You _idiot_!" Vegeta whipped back the curtains to reveal Trunks and Goten in the front yard chowing down. "_There's _your _orphan _kids!"

Goku gasped indignantly, "Well I'll be! How _could_ they?!"

Vegeta growled, clenching his fists.

**Fifth Attempt**

"Vegeeeetaaa," Goku's whining sent a chill down Vegeta's spine. "It's already six o'clock! When are we having dinner?!"

"Keep your eyes on that door!" Vegeta ordered.

"But they haven't even tried anything in the last hour," Goku complained.

"They _will_ and when I catch them they'll get what they deserve," Vegeta scowled. He'd made up his mind; no more mister-nice-guy.

"Dinner?" one of the household robots rolled over to Goku with a tray of food.

"Please!!" he exclaimed, so eager to grab the plate that he'd practically scarfed the whole thing down before it even left the hands of the robot.

"Dinner, sir?" the robot rolled past Goku and over to Vegeta.

"All right, fine," Vegeta behaved impatiently, but really he was getting quite hungry himself. Absentmindedly he grabbed the plate and set it on the counter, finishing with his task before turning to eat.

"Enjoy your meal," the robot rolled out of the room and down the hall back to the interior kitchen where its base was located.

"Are you keeping your eye on that door, Kakarot?" Vegeta called.

"Sure thing, Vegeta," Goku's mouth was full of food as he paid little attention to what he'd been asked.

After a few minutes they had both finished eating and were finding themselves rather sleepy.

Goku yawned and stretched. "Boy this sure is a long day. I could really go for a nap right now."

"See what being full does to you?" Vegeta tried to fight his own fatigue. "There's no time for rest, we must finish what we've started."

"Ok," Goku rested his head on his hand. His eye lids felt so heavy. Closing them just for a moment wouldn't hurt would it?

X X X X X X X X X X

"Kakarot, wake up!" Vegeta yelled, his face red with rage. "They're gone! Every single one of them!"

"Huh? What's gone?" Goku sat up rubbing his eyes. How long had he been out?

"The COOKIES!" Vegeta screamed. "That's IT! Those kids will PAY this time!" he stormed out of the room.

The next thing Goku heard was the sound of Goten scampering out of Trunks room in panic and Trunks pleading before his wails let loose.


	8. What The Women Must Never Know

**Warning: Ok, so this intro is totally not the way Vegeta would ever act, but… I couldn't resist. Really, I do keep him far more in-character in other stories than this one. Also, there's a few of those words which will be "underlined" instead of used in this chapter (refer to the chapter 1 warning if you've forgotten).**

**Chapter 8: What The Women Must Never Know**

"Quiet, Kakarot; hear that?" Vegeta suddenly looked up, a wild expression in his eyes.

Goku waited silently, looking around the room for a moment. "…hear what?"

"They're in here somewhere…," Vegeta spoke in a raspy tone just above a loud whisper, his eyes suspiciously darting around.

"Who's in here?"

"Those demon children! They're after the cookies again!" Vegeta lunged forward, positioning himself for a fight from an invisible enemy that could be anywhere.

Goku sighed, "I think the stress has finally gotten to you, Vegeta," he chuckled.

Vegeta whirled around, startled by the oven timer as another batch of cookies was done, and ki blasted the toaster.

Goku sweat-dropped with one eye brow raised. "Maybe you should rest for a bit."

"And leave you in charge of guarding the kitchen again?!" Vegeta stuck an accusing finger in Goku's face. "No chance! The bottomless pit and mastermind monster have you right where they want you, Kakarot!"

Goku glared, crossing his arms. "Vegeta, Trunks wouldn't dare come back in here after the punishment you gave him. And I still think you were way too harsh."

"Oh," Vegeta chuckled, his eyes burning, "don't let that wailing fool you, Kakarot. The kid's backside is made of iron. He'll be back. He'll just be more covert!"

"Hey guys," Gohan approached the kitchen, a troubled look on his face and the chibis a few feet behind him, nervous of coming any closer to the kitchen than they already were.

"BACK, BACK I SAY!" Vegeta jumped into fighting stance.

"I'm not stealing cookies, I SWEAR!" Trunks lunged behind Goten, his voice heightened with fear. Goten sweat-dropped nervously. He was very happy not to be the son of the prince today but he'd heard loud and clear what his best buddy had gotten and he'd been threatened with the same if they showed up again.

"It's ok, Vegeta, they aren't coming in here. They told me what happened and that you didn't believe them so I'm here to confirm their story. Trunks wasn't lying, _really_. I _did_ eat the cookies while you guys were asleep," Gohan explained, sure to stay between Vegeta and the boys.

"You?" Vegeta questioned, his eyes hardening. Yes, Trunks had tried to blame it on Gohan and Vegeta hadn't believed him, but that still didn't change the fact that now the only cookies the had from the whole day were the 36 they'd made since the incident and it was now 9:00 in the evening.

"I didn't know they weren't for us, I promise," Gohan defended, feeling the pressure of the temperamental man's stare. "I never would have eaten them if I had. I just came in here after dinner and noticed them there and… well… they looked really good…"

"All 96 of them?!" Vegeta's arms were crossed as he stared with accusation.

Gohan grinned, guiltily and glanced at his dad, then back. "…I was hungry…"

"You _are_ your father's son!" Vegeta spat with disgust.

"And I didn't even get one!" Trunks added, with a glare.

Vegeta turned and looked at him. Quickly Trunks shrank and leapt back behind Goten.

"Hey Vegeta, how are those cookies coming?" everyone's ears perked at the familiar feminine voice calling from a few rooms away.

"Well, that's my cue to leave," Gohan hurried out of the room, Goten close behind.

Vegeta took a step forward, into the doorway of the kitchen, listening attentively and with dread.

"She's coming closer," Trunks observed.

Father and son stared attentively in the direction of the foot steps, neither moving. Both had their attention fully focused on the situation at hand and Vegeta began calculating a solution. Trunks already had a good idea what to do too.

"Three cookies if you distract her," Vegeta's voice was low, but not hushed.

"Done," Trunks began walking casually, never turning his eyes.

X X X X X X X X X X

"We're never going to get these done," Goku's head rested in both palms as he sat on the kitchen stool, eyes heavy with fatigue.

It was close to midnight and they had managed to bake another 96 cookies so far, but only a quarter were normal. The rest were either burnt, broken, or disfigured clumps and Vegeta knew Bulma would never accept that. The longer they kept at it, the more cookies were being destroyed by their growing lack of care. The length of the day was really taking its toll.

Vegeta sighed heavily. "We need a new plan."

"What?" Goku was too tired to show any excitement.

"Hmm," Vegeta thought for a moment, then smirked. "We'll sneak out to the store and buy some."

Goku's eyes widened. "Wouldn't that be cheating?"

Vegeta glared at him. "It's either that or we stay up all night and quit making mistakes! Besides that, if we do, you're still not going to get anything more to eat. If we go out and buy some cookies, then you can get some dinner and go right to bed and wake up to a nice big breakfast," Vegeta played on his friend's weakness.

"Let's buy some," Goku agreed.

"Oh good! Trip to the store!" Trunks exclaimed.

Vegeta jumped, startled. "What are _you_ doing up?!"

"I knew it would come to this eventually. I've been waiting," Trunks answered, matter-of-factly.

"You are _not_ coming, now go to bed!" Vegeta glared.

Trunks let out a breath of indignance and disappointment, then crossed his arms and stared with defiant calculation in his eyes. "If you don't take me, I'll tell mom what you're doing."

Vegeta faltered internally and unfortunately Trunks noticed the subtle indication in his eyes despite his efforts to hide it.

"Are you trying to black mail me?" Vegeta glared harshly.

Trunks smirked, arms still crossed. "Yes."

Both glared for a few seconds.

"You hate going to the store," Vegeta commented.

"This is different. If you have to buy 300 cookie, you may as well buy a few more than 300 right?"

Vegeta growled. "I am _not_ buying cookies for _you_!"

"I'll buy them with my allowance, dad, you just have to take me to the store with you, that's all," Trunks explained.

Again they both glared at each other until finally Vegeta broke. "_Fine_, you can come, but I swear if your mother ever gets an inkling of this out of you you'll wish…"

"I know," Trunks began walking to the door, ignoring his father's threats.

Vegeta growled again and followed. "Hurry up, Kakarot," he was immensely annoyed. He _hated_ being cornered, especially by his own kid. At least the boy was smart; he had to credit him that.

X X X X X X X X X X

It took them five tries to find a store that was both at a location Bulma never shopped _and_ still open and when they finally did, Vegeta let Trunks lead the way to the section where the cookies were. He seemed to have a nose for finding it.

"They have to be chocolate chip, that's what the recipe was for," Vegeta commented.

"Ok," Trunks scoured through the various types. "We don't want any of the name brand kinds or you'll get caught in an instant. Plus, they aren't as good anyway. Hmm."

"Wow, look at these!" Goku gravitated to some giant individually wrapped sugar cookies covered in pink frosting and sprinkles.

"Put your eyes back in their sockets, Kakarot," Vegeta chastised. "We aren't getting those."

"These ones should be good," Trunks examined a package to find out how many cookies came in it. "We'll need 11 of these and…," he scouted for a bag for himself. His eyes lit up when he spied peanut butter. He hadn't had that kind in a long time. "One of these!"

"Whatever," Vegeta muttered, piling his basket with the 11 bags of chocolate chip and heading toward the check-out counter.

Goku and Trunks lingered behind him and they all stood in line behind an elderly woman with three shopping carts piled high toward the ceiling. After about ten minutes Vegeta began to look around with impatience. "Trunks, go see if there are any other lines open."

"Ok," Trunks scampered off across the rows of check-out counters. Within a few minutes he was back. "Nope, all closed."

"That figures," Vegeta muttered, glaring at the woman who had only unloaded half of one cart onto the conveyed belt.

"Excuse me maam?" Trunks decided to take some initiative. "Would you like some help with that?"

The elderly woman took a moment to turn and then another moment to focus her bi-focals on the lavender headed thing standing in front of her. "Huh? What did you say?"

"I said, would you like some help with that?!" Trunks spoke much louder, trying to be sure he still sounded polite and chipper. Older people liked that.

"Well," the lady smiled. "What a nice little boy you are. Sure, sonny."

In a lightening flash Trunks hovered in the air and began tossing everything from the cart to the counter far faster than the checker could ring up, until there was finally a mount of groceries covering the surface and three empty carts (and several broken eggs, and mashed bags of bread, and…).

"Uh…," the woman stood, a little dumbfounded and not too sure about the talents of her helper. "Thanks, dear," he answer wasn't especially convincing.

"No sweat!" Trunks shrugged and returned happily to his father, who stood with a smirk.

"Nice work, son."

It still took quite some time for the checker to catch up, but eventually the three sayains had their turn.

"That will be 38.17," the checker announced as he finished ringing up Vegeta's cookies.

Vegeta turned and dug into his pocket, surprised when he felt nothing. "Darn, I don't have my wallet!" Vegeta cursed quietly.

"Ooooh," Trunks hopped childishly from foot to foot and with a mischievous grin and sing-songed the rest, "dad said what the beavers make…"

"Hush!" Vegeta shot his son a quick glare. "Kakarot, how much have you got on you?"

"I'm broke, Vegeta. I spent everything I had earlier on the ingredients."

"Darn, darn, darn!"

Trunks giggled.

"Trunks!" Vegeta turned.

Quickly Trunks stood up straight, wiping the amusement off his face and looked at his father.

"Give me forty dollars of your allowance money," Vegeta ordered.

"What?!" Trunks was indignant for a moment, then he got an idea and smirked. "What'll you give me if I do?"

"License to live another year," Vegeta glared angrily at him.

Trunks looked at him trying to decide if he really meant it.

Vegeta crossed his arms and smirked. "Or would you rather my arm and your rump worked out every day for an hour in the gravity room?"

Trunks sweat-dropped, then quickly handed his wallet over. "Take as much as you need."

Vegeta snatched the wallet from his son and pulled out forty dollars, handing it to the checker.

"Out of forty… that's one dollar and eighty-three cents change."

Trunks quickly stuck his hand out in front of his father and grabbed the change with a short glare, then put his own item on the counter and paid for it.

On the way home they had to fly some more to find a fast food joint open long enough to get Goku a little snack. Trunks scowled, flying behind the two. They'd used the rest of his 50 of allowance on _that_.

Everyone was exhausted when they finally made it back home and quietly crept into the house. It was nearing 2:00 a.m. now.

"Dad, since you guys bought all those cookies, can I have the ones you made earlier now?" Trunks asked.

"No," Vegeta hissed quietly.

"But I let you have all my allowance money to buy the other ones and to get Goku's stupid snack! Just one, dad, please!" Trunks begged in a loud whisper.

"All right, one cookie! And then you get right into bed, you hear me?!" Vegeta was completely out of patience.

"Ok," Trunks happily grabbed a cookie off the counter, stuffed it in his mouth, then wrinkled his nose. "Here's a tip… don't let mom taste these, and feed the rest to Goten. He'll eat anything," Trunk retreated to his room.

Vegeta glared shortly, then removed the cookies from their containers, placing them about the counter and covering them with saran wrap so it would look like they'd baked them all. "There," he stated with blood-shot eyes as he finished and plopped the garbage bag with the bad cookies and the containers in front of Goku. "Go fly those to a dump where they wont be discovered and call it a night."

"Ok," Goku was too tired to argue.


	9. All is Well What Never Gets Discovered

**Chapter 9: All is Well What's Never Discovered**

"Vegeta, it's morning!" Vegeta was waken with a start from his wife's voice beaming across the living room.

"Wake up, Kakarot, it's show time," Vegeta hissed, giving Goku a firm kick in the ribs.

"Huh? What?" Goku opened his eyes sleepily, then sat up and stretched. "Is it time for breakfast?"

"Well, there you are," Bulma walked into the living room with her hands on her hips and a wide grin. "You never came to bed last night."

Vegeta grunted, crossing his arms with a frown.

"Well? It's morning. Time's up," Bulma looked confident that she'd won. "Where are the cookies, Vegeta?"

"For your information, woman, they're in the kitchen," Vegeta smugly replied.

Bulma let her arms fall as she looked suspiciously at him, then made her way into the kitchen. "I won't believe it until I…," her eyes suddenly widened at sight. Several bowls full of cookies sat atop the counter.

"See it?" Vegeta stood behind her with a smirk.

"I still don't believe it," Bulma stated, still in shock. Finally she turned, "You two really baked all of these?"

"Well they certainly didn't bake themselves," Vegeta answered, still smirking.

Bulma's mouth was wide and after a few moments she grabbed a bowl, tossing it to her raven-haired friend, "Chichi, start counting these," she then grabbed a bowl of her own. "If there aren't 300, you'll still loose."

"Go right ahead and count," Vegeta leaned against the door frame, his arms crossed as he waited triumphantly.

"One hundred seventy four," Bulma stated, turning to Chichi. "How many did you count?"

"One hundred forty-eight."

"That's… Three-hundred twenty-two," Bulma was surprised.

"Yes, and I'd like several new attack bots for the revamped gravity room too," Vegeta arrogantly smiled.

"Not so fast, Vegeta! I'm not giving you anything unless these are edible," Bulma grabbed one from the pile, watching him as if he would stop her at any time.

"Suit yourself," he answered with amusement, waiting against the door-frame once again.

"All right, here goes," Bulma warned before taking a bite. Her eyes widened once again. "They aren't…. bad."

"No way!" Chichi quickly grabbed one and stuffed it in her mouth. After a couple chews and a deep swallow her mouth dropped. "I can't believe it… it can't be true!"

Vegeta laughed. "Oh but it is. And now, for that gravity chamber!" he spoke with delight

"Trunks!" Bulma suddenly caught sight of their child walking past.

Trunks stopped, a little confused. "Yes mom?"

"Did your father _really_ bake all these cookies?" She asked with suspicion.

Trunks smiled happily. "Sure he did, and he even baked me a special batch of peanut butter ones! Did _you_ tell him those were my favorite mom?" he was so proud of his story. _This _ought to make his father happy with him for awhile!

"Really?" Bulma looked to Vegeta with a combination of surprise and admiration. "You did that for Trunks?"

Vegeta glanced momentarily at his son then back to his wife, blushing as she wrapped her arms around him.

"Oh Vegeta! That was so sweet of you!"

"Yeah well… he helped me find the cookie sheet," Vegeta quickly thought up an excuse, glancing again at his son.

Trunks gave him his famous peace sign and grin and scampered off. Finally

Bulma pulled away. "It's going to take me at least a week to revamp it, Vegeta," Bulma sighed. She had never expected she'd really have to do it. "And I've still got to take Trunks and those cookies to the school carnival tonight."

"Can't you just get it up and running for now so I can use it this evening?" Vegeta's excitement turned to impatience.

"I suppose I might be able to if I get started right away, but there's a million things I was supposed to get done today," Bulma mused.

Vegeta growled. "You lost, now pay up!"

"All right! Just be patient!" Bulma turned to her friend once again. "Chichi, would you mind terribly throwing Trunks' laundry in the wash for me and taking all the supplies in the front room to the carnival a few hours before it starts? They'll need them to start setting up."

"Well, if Goku managed to bake edible cookies, I suppose I may as well help out too," Chichi agreed.

"Fine, it's settled, now get to work," Vegeta tried to hurry everything along.

X X X X X X X X X X

Hours had passed and Vegeta was still waiting impatiently for the gravity room to be up and running. It was about 4:00 in the afternoon now and he'd been sent, after the thirtieth time bugging Bulma about when he could use it, to get Trunks ready for the evening. He was on Trunks' room when he heard snickering from the playroom and stopped, peering in the door. His son was laying on his stomach with his feet in the air looking at something.

"What's so funny?" Vegeta inquired, annoyance in his voice.

Trunks jumped in surprise and quickly hide whatever he'd been looking at behind his back and sweat-dropping. "Nothing."

Vegeta narrowed his eyes. "What are you looking at?"

Trunks' eyes darted quickly from side to side. "…Uh… what do you mean? I'm not looking at anything…"

"Behind your back," Vegeta's tone was getting more irritated.

"Behind my back?" Trunks' voice went up an octive.

Vegeta stepped closer, seeing his inquiries were getting him nowhere, and crooked his neck to get a peek. Trunks quickly turned slightly in each direction Vegeta moved.

"Trunks!" Vegeta demanded, "You had better show me what you're looking at or," Vegeta took a leap to the left before Trunks could move and got a glimpse. "Ah!" his eyes widened and his mouth dropped. "Is that… a picture of me?!"

Trunks eyes widened too for a moment and then he began laughing guiltily. "Oh, well… I just love you so much I was looking at your picture…yeah."

Vegeta stood straight and glared angrily. "Am I wearing that pink apron, Trunks?!"

Trunks stared, his mouth in a wide, guilty smile. Quickly he looked at the picture. "Wow, go figure! I guess you are! Who'd of guessed?"

"Hand it over," Vegeta demanded.

Trunks continued staring, that same stupid expression on his face.

"Trunks! If you want to live to see the age of ten, then give me that picture!" Vegeta repeated more avidly.

"Hmm," Trunks began thinking about it.

"What are you waiting for?!" Vegeta was exasperated.

"Well I don't know… a few quality months with this picture, or the rest of my life without it…I'm trying to decide which is better," Trunks mused.

Vegeta growled, snatching the picture from his son's hand before he could react, and blasted it into ashes.

"Hey!" Trunks protested.

Vegeta smirked with satisfaction. Trunks folded his arms, first with a scowl, then he too smirked. Vegeta eyed him. "What have _you_ to be happy about?"

"Good thing I saved a copy!" Trunks bolted out of the room.

"TRUNKS!!" Vegeta bolted after him.

THE END

**A/N: Sad to be finished, but gratifying too. For those that haven't (or don't) read my profile lately, I wont be posting for a week or two after Monday because I'm SUPER busy the next couple weeks, but there are more stories in my mind, so after that I'll probably start posting them. Sorry for the wait, but everything I have up (other than the on-going never officially ending "Vegeta's Perspective") so far will be complete, so nobody should be avidly waiting on any update while I'm away.**


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